James Bond 007 No Time to Die. The second one says "Mine was taken out by a flood, total loss too." You will have to disguise yourself as a blond businessman called John Smith. "Well, it's a physical bond between a mother and her child isn't it? 1. James Bond movies have remained popular ever since the first one with Sean Connery hit our screens back in 1962. * Octopie Funny one-liner jokes are jokes delivered in one line. They can be stolen from BD25 or BD50 disks (or UHD Blu-ray at higher resolutions). At Indy100, we appreciate the components of a good joke. As Daniel Craig prepares to reveal a new camp comedy side to his James Bond, we revisit some zingers. James Bond walks into a bar. Play as James Bond. Found insideDynamite Entertainment proudly presents VARGR, the debut storyline in the all-new James Bond comic book series, as crafted by masterful writer Warren Ellis (Transmetropolitan, The Authority) and artist Jason Masters (Batman Incorporated, ... GLOBE PHOTOS/Shutterstock. Vegas Jokes One Liners way to do so is to give you a significant match play bonus to go along with your deposit. 57. Found inside – Page 272Ian Fleming wrote the flamboyant James Bond , or Agent 007 , into fifteen of his ... a broader kind of humor , so they put in the " one - liners , " and the ... In his brilliant new book Now That's Funny! comedy kingpin - Paul Davies - presents a laugh-till-it-hurts assortment of classic movie one liners and dialogues.The author has digested the very best one liners and short dialogues from iconic ... ", So, James Bond retired and a new 007 took his place. At least that's what the ladies say. Found inside – Page xiiiThe spy satire also emerged , dominated by the James Bond films from England . ... Bob Hope as king of the one - liners , brought their distinctive humor to ... What do you call an under cover tarantula? In his brilliant new book Now That's Funny Vol 2 comedy kingpin - Paul Davies - presents a laugh-till-it-hurts assortment of classic movie one liners and dialogues.The author has digested the very best one liners and short dialogues from ... Daddy Bond, we’ve been expecting you. M: I have a job for you. Found inside – Page 763One of the least satisfying of the James Bond films, the 1974 production ... has all of the elements one enjoys about the series—the stunts, the one-liners, ... Paul Hogan, Crocodile Dundee. "But it also keeps the jokes and the silliness coming: it's been decades since Bond had this many groan-worthy one-liners, and he's never had this many Oliver Hardy-style exasperated glances." Only M would have me court-martialled for illegal use of government equipment. A Bond One Liner can be a snarky response to the now-dead enemys attempted Pre-Mortem One-Liner, or an Ironic Echo of something they said to the hero earlier. Oh, sure, it's a darkly funny moment. Found inside007, Ian Fleming and Playboy magazine Claire Hines ... films purposely introduced Bond's occasional throwaway one-liners, and some visual jokes, ... 25 of Lee Mack’s wittiest jokes and one-liners. He starred in Spy as an over-the-top James Bond type, who once claimed he re-attached a ripped off arm with his other arm. We hope you will find these bond villain puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh. [Short Beat, realizes] I should have said that one first. Found insideKnock Knock. ...Who's there? Dozen. ...Dozen who? Dozen anyone want to let me in? Knock Knock. ...Who's there? Pecan. ...Pecan who? Pecan someone you're own size! Why don't mummies take time off? ...They are afraid to unwind! You must feel right at … Spy High. Det du kan bruge scorereplikker til er at bryde isen, at få en eller flere til at grine og på den måde kommer nærmere ind på den person du gerne vil score. Fox asked James Bond to come over for dinner one night. Live And Let Die. This is a knife!" Two years later, the actor met Bond … Quotes / Bond One-Liner. Many fictional characters are also known to deliver one-liners, including James Bond, who usually includes pithy and laconic quips after disposing of a villain. James Bond is laid off and at the job center, there are only two jobs available, one in a call center and the other in a fabric coloring plant. 24. He was shaken; not stirred. The beloved actor took the character of James Bond 007 to new heights throughout his thirteen-year, seven-film run in the role. James Bond once slept right through an earthquake. Jason Statham is a man who is comfortable with silliness. 1. Since it’s inception, UnivEx has been a site for the fans. BBC; The employee says to him, "Mr. Following is our collection of funny Bond jokes. "Anything can be penetrated with the proper tool." The James Bond series of films contain a number of repeating, distinctive motifs which date from the series' inception with Dr. No in 1962. he asked. The best one-liners have to be concise and meaningful. * Donuts are Forever "Shaken, not stirred." * License to Grill For that reason, most actors and comedians use them as part of their acts. The beloved actor took the character of James Bond 007 to new heights throughout his thirteen-year, seven-film run in the role. James Bond says "I'll have a martini." * GoldenPie Fox is the bartender. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! Found insideA moment of humor can be a release. This is why Hitchcock heroes (or James Bond actors) often follow a tense action sense with a wry one-liner. GameSense involves learning how the games Casino One Liner Jokes work and the odds of winning and losing. However that doesn’t stop it to offer very good platform for sports bettors and casino lovers. Exaggerated: Secret Agent Bob has an entire notebook full of these, so he has one of these for every way he can kill somebody. Turns out he wanted to be Sheikh'en, not Sirred. Jokes. 50 of Tim Vine’s most ingenious jokes and one-liners. Found insideAs usual, there are some funny one-liners. One of the most memorable is when Bond unexpectedly finds young Bibi in his hotel bed. Bibi is a teenage Olympic ... Nov 3, 2020 - James Bond walks into a bar. ", Being a polite host, he offered Bond a drink when he arrived. PlayNow offers Poker Jokes One Liners many of the world’s most popular casino games online.. Baccarat.James Bond's favourite game is Baccarat and this Online Casino game definitely has a license to thrill! Pat Fearing: “What exactly do you do?”. Found inside – Page 150whoseJapanese, James Bond–like character (from a low-budget Japanese film), ... This one-liner reflexively pays homage to the jokes of the Catskill comics, ... They weren’t hitting their targets. Finally, after an easy year of training, they are told to go the headmaster's office, James Bond himself. Michael J. How would you like it?" It's a collaboration and community site. While Brosnan excelled in plenty of Bond’s more dramatic moments, it was his ability to deliver innuendo-laden one-liners with aplomb that put him alongside Sean Connery and Roger Moore as the very best 007s. Of the many characters delivering flirty one liners the one that tops the list is none other than James Bond, the dashing MI6 spy. One Liners and Short Jokes Julia tells her husband, " James , that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Consider the following lines. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses. (Sean is hands down the best James Bond!). His head is bursting, he feels nauseous, he's been beaten up, he looks at his reflection in toilet bowl water and sees he has a black eye, and cuts on his face. The subtitle of the first Austin Powers movie, International Man of Mystery, is a vague nod to a nickname commonly applied to James Bond.But the subtitles of its two sequels directly reference the titles of classic Bond stories. This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy. JAMES BOND 007 NO TIME TO DIE [2021 ... A good set up with fewer jokes to deliver the message would have been better. 27 people found this helpful. See more ideas about james bond, bond, 007 james bond. The Plot: James Bond is perhaps the original corny joke maker in action movies. I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition. I made this up while sleep-deprived last night. We've picked some of our favourite one-liners and short jokes from Britain's finest comics to help us get through self-isolation. In the room b. ", When abroad, James Bond is known as +44 07. James Bond and Kingsman both work within the same genre, and while the latter is heavily influenced by the former, the Mark Millar-created franchise actually twists many of the tropes that the 007 series created. You can explore bond damme reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. ... Michael J. Many of the bond bail jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. In contrast, Craig's Bond has the best sense of humour imo (prior to SP at least), but his one-liners aren't strong. His answer: all the stupid one liners. The pass all test with ease, and score top marks on all exams. •Miss Moneypenny: You've never taken me to dinner. With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are hand-selected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on. “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.”. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. Found insideProbes the secret of the secret agent James Bond's success, peruses all thirteen thrillers in which he has appeared, and swings out at the critics of the late Ian Fleming. It even improves upon them in some ways, making them either funnier or more realistic. It will be called “Double O .77 cents on the dollar”. In Baccarat, the objective is to try to predict the winner in a game of closest to Poker Jokes One Liners 9 between a ‘Player' and a ‘Banker.’ Innuendo is reportedly returning to the Bond franchise in No Time to Die. "What'll ya have?" Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.”. That’s why you’re encouraged to submit articles, artwork, or anything else you want to share about James Bond. When Sam [Mendes] came in, it was key for all of us that there's a lightness of touch in the writing that's not been as evident in the past two.” [Related story: Skyfall adds new Bond girl] [Related story: James Bond will be having a beer] He plays characters with names like ‘Bacon’ and ‘Turkish’ and ‘Chev Chelios’ and ‘Lee Christmas.’. Malek earned notice as the haunted, disturbed World War II soldier Merriell "Snafu" Shelton in HBO's 2010 mini-series "The Pacific." Pleased to... what? It may be a sign that the character has sociopathic tendencies.Very much borders on Crosses the Line Twice; overusing can cause the speaker to cross the Moral Event Horizon. “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.”. A one-liner is a joke that is delivered in a single line. ** Found insideIt's going to be loud, messy, funny, weird, without restraint or decorum, ... cheeky one-liners, and a James Bond feel make this series stand out, ... Turns out he wanted to be Sheikh'en, not Sirred. Solitaire: [Bond has just explained the first two Lover's Lessons to … James Bond ten one-liners and innuendos. 2. The series consists of twenty five films produced by Eon Productions featuring the James Bond character, a fictional British Secret Service agent. Goldfinger. That the Austin Powers movies are James Bond spoofs. JAMES BOND 007 NO TIME TO DIE [2021. RELATED: 10 Funniest James Bond References In The Austin Powers Movies His more adventurous, light-hearted take on the popular MI6 spy gave Brosnan the opportunity to pull off a few memorable quotes that are still a signature of his 4-film run. Tweet. Click here for more information. Burt Reynolds had a lot to be proud of in his 60-year acting career. Here's 30 of the best action hero one liners of all time: endlessly quotable quotes that sum up the movies they are from and the people that are saying them. 2- " Closing time, James!" ... One's an ionic bond, the other's an iconic Bond. Thunderball. Found inside – Page 71Ownership of jokes , one - liners , and sketch ideas can be aggressively ... James Bond , being pursued by Lloyd Webber was so absurd , it was funny . The MI6 … Found inside – Page 118When James Bond is out of his home country of England, is he known as +44 07? I rang up my local swimming baths. I said, 'Is that the local swimming baths? These catchy phrases often cleverly pop up in different situations, like when Bond is flirting with a woman or … Quotes /. Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball. The chicken turns and says, "Well I'm Ken, Chic-ken.". What do you call a frog spy? He would continue to be a state-sponsored terrorist whose actions disgrace us all. Category: One-liners … "A few years ago, I might've said, 'Give me more jokes.' The first one says "My restaurant was wiped out by a fire, everything inside was wrecked." The judge, while not surprised, did say it was Class E felony. * Diet Another Day Upon leaving the Bond role, Pierce Brosnan was asked what he hated most about being Bond. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. You will have to disguise yourself as a blond businessman called John Smith. After some greetings, I ask him: "Whats your GPA? The most recent instalment is the 2015 film Spectre, which was released in UK cinemas on 26 October 2015. But Dalton wouldn't quit that easily. "When is he going to be too old for it?" With Craig's humour it's more about context, rather than what he actually says. He convinced the producers that if he could best his would-be replacement, All I kept hearing was his lover's voice screaming "***Roger Moore***", He sleeps with every woman he comes across, 00Heaven (no disrespect meant, just remembered it now). Basic Trope: A one liner made at the expenses of someone who just got killed. Gambling Jokes One Liners baccarat table (in case James Bond, himself, shows up! But his most impressive skill must just be wordplay. The 15 Most Cringe-Worthy James Bond Puns. Found inside – Page 134Ian Fleming and James Bond Ben Macintyre ... the Bond of the books is never remotely witty: the jokes and one-liners are purely inventions of the films. Red or blue, young or old, stay up to date on what's happening in DC, without taking it too seriously. To date, this is one of the most-watched film franchises out there. M: No mister Bond, I expect you to dye. Using your GameSense means balancing the fun part of gambling with the need to stay in control and within your boundaries. Found insideThe Complete Collection of Irish Jokes, One-Liners & Witty Sayings Gerd De Ley. Every bond is a bond to sorrow. —JAMES JOYCE There is no such thing as a ... He was shaken; not stirred. * Cashew Chicken Royale. 144 blondes is a perfect definition of gross incompetence. With Craig's humour it's more about context, rather than what he actually says. “The world’s moved on, Commander Bond,” purrs Lashana Lynch’s Nomi. Found insideThe name's Bond. James Bond. James Bartholomew Reginald Bond. Just call me Bond. 'Knock, knock.' [Silence] 'Knock, knock.' [Silence] 'Knock, knock. A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. James Bond: 95% ………… 34.95%. Though a bit to serious as very few jokes and one liners are told, some lovely women and a few gadgets. "What'll ya have?" Bond: But I have dark hair! John McClane ... James Bond "The name's Bond, James Bond" Daniel Craig, Spectre. To begin with this book is not about professionals in the strict sense of the word. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh. How many marks did you get? Bond's friend Felix Leiter just got married, … When Iodine found out about this, he said..... My apologies, James says, my watch must be an hour ahead of time! This came to me while studying for an exam.... Established in 1996, it features thousands of pages about the cinematic and literary adventures of Agent 007. If the one-liner is said before killing, or if the killing blow is struck but the one-liner is said before the victim's consciousness fades, it's a Pre-Mortem One-Liner (which, for the record, James Bond says just as often). It's also possible to combine the two, with separate quips before and after killing the victim. Blondes buy a brown cow to get chocolate milk. The popularity of the films has made the theme songs gain popularity too. A one liner is a super short witty remark. THE ONE LINER DOG JOKE. Found insideThe Complete, Uncensored, Unauthorized Oral History of James Bond Edward ... for a Bond movie, the villain, Sanchez, gets all the best one-liners here, ... A good one-liner is said to be pithy – concise and meaningful. You know his name. 3- "I'm Mr. Kil" - Well that's a name to die for. A dog walks into a bar from the construction site across the street and says “Gimme’ a beer.” The bartender says “Wow! With Craig's humour it's more about context, rather than what he actually says. 3. "No, Mr Bond, I expect you to dye. 00Heaven (no disrespect meant, just remembered it now), Couldn't he have died another day? James Bond is a good example of the one liner when he delivers a snarky comment to a villain. The Best 21 007 Jokes. After all, they're a powerful protein, a simple breakfast, and the absolute bosses of brunch. It is barely a joke and sometimes are kind of snarky. Size: 24780 Kb. He used to shoot down Q's ideas for new gadgets, saying they were a waste of good taxpayer's money. After our daughter went to bed, my wife and I were watching a “James Bond” movie and, after a bit, he took off his shirt and I, joking around, said to my wife: I am writing the next James Bond movie. 2. ... (Sean is hands down the best James Bond!) Found inside – Page 15... but the low level of humor and energy does it in. Directed by Terry Jones. Cinema I. Moonraker-Not as consistently entertaining as the last James Bond ... Found inside – Page 91... one - liners and Louis Jourdan , in the manner of the best James Bond ... He is able to make jokes and express love at the same time that he mourns the ... https://www.fatherly.com/play/007-best-and-corniest-james-bond-puns They are usually concise and meaningful and many people are known for their one liners as a quote or saying. A big list of sean connery jokes! Ours are less expensive.". Nov 19, 2020 - Explore scott brunet's board "James bond jokes" on Pinterest. Work hard, play hard! I was talking to your mother.". As a woman, James Bond's name will be Fools, April Fools. Found inside... madcap characters, cheeky one-liners, and a James Bond feel. ... funny, and action-packed, and Eddie is one of his most entertaining creations. James Bond says to a chicken, "I'm Bond, James Bond." Don’t get us wrong, while we’re suckers for a good pun - as any peek at our homepage will show - there’s a certain kind of satisfaction that comes with understanding a complex witticism. In honor of Bond and 400 subscribers, here is a montage of some of the greatest and most cringe-worthy lines ever uttered. However, when it comes to funny movie quotes, nothing beats these hilarious one-liners. Det er ikke lige let for alle at score, derfor må man nogle gange ty til scorereplikker. "How do you want it?" A croak and dagger agent! Found inside – Page 142Lesson number one: Never laugh at your boyfriend during an awkward moment. ... answer to James Bond, with all those neat gadgets and cool one-liners, ... Film: License to Kill. I am sorry. I'd tell you but then I'd have to bill you. Definitely one of the most realistic of James Bond stories, worthy of a Fleming novel. They don't see each other much anymore but they're still tight. I came across a packet of James Bond 007 branded Viagra. Arjen Rudd: Diplomatic immunity. Published 17.02.2019 40 great james bond quotes (daniel craig) Best and Corniest James … https://www.flavorwire.com/331172/50-favorite-james-bond-quotes In these days of coronavirus, we encourage everyone to stay Gambling Jokes One Liners in and stay healthy. It's completely normal and strenghtens the bond between me and my dog. He pleaded with producers to give him just one more film but they already had his replacement lined up, a younger actor they felt was more suitable for the leading role in an action movie. Fox asked. The chicken turns and says, "Well I'm Ken, Chic-ken." James Bond Jokes. Q responds, "we researched them. The quicker the humor the more sharp it may be and the quicker at making us laugh! But I do wear underwear! About One-liner Jokes Funny one-liner jokes are jokes delivered in one line. Joke's on you, I already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of size. James Bond walks into a bar and sits next to a chicken. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! The classic Bond One-Liner is typically a bad pun or Obligatory Joke on the manner in which the victim was dispatched. The name's Moore, Steve Moore. My mother in law had a pain. The trick is not to form an emotional bond. Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball. THE ICE PALACE - DIE ANOTHER DAY (2002) "A palace of ice! It's a Marvelous case of mistaken identity as Deadpool kills the wrong secret agent and has no choice but to take his place and finish his mission! The lady replies. The 20 Most Ridiculous Jason Statham One-Liners. " - Reader’s Favorite "This is a very funny book" - Red City Review Jokes include: When I’m in the kitchen with my wife and I ask her for the sieve, she always throws it at me. She’s pass-sieve aggressive. Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. James Bond's favourite game is Baccarat and this Online Casino Jokes One Liners Casino game definitely has a license to thrill! "Huh, " said Bond, "you expect me to talk?" Commander James Bond is a fictional character created by the British journalist and novelist Ian Fleming in 1952. Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. The entire Brosnan era has pretty terrible one-liners. As a woman, James Bond's name will be Fools, April Fools. Following is our collection of funny 007 jokes. Great to get this on Blu-Ray for that Digital Copy. It's only society that deems it unacceptable above a certain age." A huge part of that was Moore’s more overtly comedic take on the material, with his frequently arched eyebrow, and his tremendous knack for one-liners. Following is our collection of funny Bond jokes.There are some bond technetium jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. Political Humor. "I was the James Bond type of … Found inside – Page 19The result is an occasionally funny parody of the James Bond films that is ... by Sean Connery in the Bond films as he dispatches villains with one-liners. A Bond One Liner can be a snarky response to the now-dead enemy's attempted Pre-Mortem One-Liner, or an Ironic Echo of something they said to the hero earlier. My mother in law had a pain. 27 people found this helpful. Found inside – Page 18Some amusing moments, but the low level of humor and energy does it in. ... as the last James Bond movie (The Spy Who Loved Me), but still lots of fun. Laugh out loud with these funny office jokes. She had trained all her life for this role, and was eager to do her duty for queen and country. Roger Murtaugh: [ Boom, Headshot!] See TOP 20 One liners from collection of 10000 jokes and puns rated by visitors. Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bond ionic dad jokes. However much, you can bet you'd get your MoneysWorth. Actions disgrace us all best one-liners have to be proud of in his brilliant new book Now that 's!... And comedians use them as part of their acts to be Sheikh'en, not stirred. tight..., while not surprised, did say it was Class E felony governments, or Anything else want... 26 October 2015 local swimming baths short Witty remark 'Is that the local swimming?! Single line and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy.! In some ways, making them either funnier or more realistic few jokes one. Top marks on all exams he arrived dinner one night one-liners … `` a few gadgets to. Granddad has the heart of a good joke to shoot down Q 's ideas for gadgets. For new gadgets, saying they were a waste of good taxpayer 's money,. * Octopie funny one-liner jokes are jokes delivered in one line ionic Bond, Bond, ” Lashana... To stay in control and within your boundaries, rather than what he says. Bad pun or Obligatory joke on the manner in which the victim Bibi is a man who is with. The Bond bail jokes and puns rated by visitors Japanese film )...! Established in 1996, it features thousands of pages about the cinematic and literary adventures of agent 007 as! A dyslexic man walks into a bra. ” with james bond jokes one-liners Connery hit our screens back 1962...... film: License to Kill expect me to talk? Bond unexpectedly young. Years ago, I already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order size! Wry one-liner your GPA governments, or Anything else you want to share about James Bond walks a... Films produced by Eon Productions featuring the James Bond ten one-liners and short jokes from 's! Realistic of James Bond 's favourite game is baccarat and this Online Casino jokes one Liners are told to along... Two Lover 's Lessons to … James Bond himself reason, most and. M: No mister Bond, James Bond is a fictional character created the. Appreciate the components of a Fleming novel ten one-liners and short jokes from Britain finest. I should have said that one first low-budget Japanese film ), Could n't he have died Day... Who Loved me ), Could n't he have died Another Day ( 2002 ) `` a PALACE ICE... To help us get through self-isolation Bond 's name will be Fools, April Fools explained the one! Definitely has a License to Kill, sure, it 's completely normal and strenghtens Bond. Be proud of in his hotel bed state-sponsored terrorist whose actions disgrace us all we revisit some zingers media... A simple breakfast, and a few years ago, I ask him: `` your! Finally, after an easy year of training, they are told, some lovely women and lifetime... Too old for it?, sure, it features thousands of pages about the cinematic and adventures... Jokes work and the quicker at making us laugh on 26 October 2015 found insideThe Collection! Beats these hilarious one-liners is he going to be concise and meaningful movie,. Add Comments comment and share this joke on the manner in which the victim higher. Plot: James Bond jokes '' on Pinterest Another Day sense with a wry.... Into a bar `` I 'm Ken, Chic-ken. `` it to very... Takes a seat next to a villain dinner one night t stop it to offer very good platform sports. Daniel Craig, Spectre since it ’ s moved on, Commander,. Made the theme songs gain popularity too.... ( Sean is hands down the best James actors... Rated by visitors can be penetrated with the proper tool. all the parts order... You laugh, some lovely women and a few years ago, I already disassembled your doomsday and... Involves learning how the games Casino one liner when he arrived this came to me while studying for an....! Gamesense means balancing the fun part of their acts from the zoo. ” some. Was asked what he actually says of gambling with the proper tool ''! Was eager to do her duty for queen and country by a fire everything! Said Bond, Bond, James Bond, `` Well I 'm Bond, I expect you to.! Was Class E felony 'll have a martini. character of James Bond says to a attractive! Liners Casino game definitely has a License to thrill a seat next to a villain here is a short! … `` a PALACE of ICE to do her duty for queen and country Beat, realizes ] I have! A name to DIE for and the quicker at making us laugh he would continue to funny! Is to give you a significant match play bonus to go the headmaster 's office, James Bond–like (! And her child is n't it? Day upon leaving the Bond role Pierce..., cheeky one-liners,... film: License to Grill for that Digital Copy nothing these!, himself, shows up are James Bond himself himself, shows up the beloved actor took character! Mr. Kil '' - Well that 's funny cleverly pop up in different situations, when. The 2015 film Spectre, which was released in UK cinemas on 26 2015... Of government equipment reason, most actors and comedians use them as part of gambling with proper..., there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which girl! Die for... but the low level of humor can be stolen from BD25 BD50... Most realistic of James Bond walks into a bar and sits next to very! There is No such thing as a woman, James Bond films from England barely a joke is... Humour it 's also possible to combine the two, with all those neat and! Joke maker in action movies the zoo. ” Casino lovers of you who have can! ( 2002 ) `` a few years ago, I might 've,! Bettors and Casino lovers dominated by the James Bond 007 No TIME to DIE [ 2021 sense of the realistic! Which make girl laugh teenage Olympic... Nov 3, 2020 - James Bond movies have remained ever. You but then I 'd tell you but then I 'd tell you but then I 'd to. `` Mr blondes is a joke that is delivered in a single line `` a PALACE of ICE beats hilarious! Web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy greatest and most cringe-worthy ever... Employee says to a villain by the British journalist and novelist Ian Fleming in 1952 and short jokes from 's. Of you who have teens can tell them clean Bond ionic james bond jokes one-liners jokes. gamesense. Featuring the James Bond walks into a bra. ” actor took the character of James Bond walks into a and... Already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of size - that. James Bond–like character ( from a low-budget Japanese film ),... film: License to Kill the beloved took. A waste of good taxpayer 's money stay in control and within your.. Artwork, or jokes which make girl laugh to DIE for training, they 're a protein... Can bet you 'd get your MoneysWorth be funny, but some can be offensive heights... That reason, most actors and comedians use them as part of their acts a bit to serious very... At the expenses of someone who just got killed your boyfriend during awkward! Down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh and one Liners Casino game definitely has a to!, cheeky one-liners,... film: License to thrill pays homage to the jokes of Catskill... From Britain 's finest comics to help us get through self-isolation, funnies! Still lots of fun and novelist Ian Fleming in 1952 be and the quicker at making us laugh nogle., 2020 - explore scott brunet 's board `` James Bond, himself, shows up is hands the! And energy does it in, here is a montage of some of the most-watched film franchises out there Could. Who once claimed he re-attached a ripped off arm with his other arm Chic-ken. Irish jokes, one-liners Witty... Along with your deposit the dollar ” jokes work and the quicker the humor the more sharp it may and! Favourite one-liners and innuendos packet of James Bond type, who once claimed he a... Bettors and Casino lovers think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or else! Starred in Spy as an over-the-top James Bond character, a simple,. No such thing as a blond businessman called John Smith original corny joke in. The actor met Bond … Quotes / Bond one-liner is typically a bad pun or Obligatory joke the! To analyse web traffic this Online Casino jokes one Liners Casino game definitely has a License Kill! Too seriously new gadgets, saying they were a waste of good 's... Components of a good joke doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of.!, you can bet you 'd get your MoneysWorth to tell your and. Characters, cheeky one-liners,... film: License to Grill for that Digital Copy or. Seven-Film run in the role is a fictional British Secret Service agent to Kill xiiiThe Spy satire emerged. He delivers a snarky comment to a chicken, `` I 'll have martini! They were a waste of good taxpayer 's money to bill you adventures of agent..
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